Let's Get It Together
Things we should own communally:
Computer printers
One of the great scams of our time. We all need to be liberated from that $50 printer gathering dust that gets used 3 times in 5 years. And fuck HP while we’re at it. The people’s printer will be indestructible, low maintenance and with zero plastic consumables.
Lawnmowers
Can’t relate, never had a lawn, but I bet every neighbourhood has one nerd who would love to be in charge of purchasing the optimal machine and organising the roster system.
Tools
Great news, this is already a thing. Here’s my local. Haven’t borrowed anything in months but I’m very happy to pay the modest membership fee to support this wonderful service.
Sewing machines
I own a 50s hunk of metal Elna that’s still going strong, currently on loan. I’m no sewist but I can drive it in a straight line and it’s really handy for mending and altering stuff. Finding room to store a compact sewing machine is not hard, but then you start to crave an overlocker as well, and you want to leave everything set up so that you can come back to it and keep working, and the table’s never big enough, and you end up with bags and bags of fabric and haberdashery. We should be pooling our resources and setting up a free sewing center somewhere with big tables and good lighting.
Fucking machines
Sorry for party rocking too hard, but I bet a lot of people would want a ride without committing to the expense and the awkwardness of storing it in your house. BYO dong and the rest is just metal that can be sanitised.
Saunas and spas
Bad week for spas with a regional outbreak of campylobacter in the news. Maybe the average citizen shouldn’t be operating these things in their backyard. I’m not really a fan at the best of times, but we definitely need community saunas and the spa just kind of goes with the whole package. You can get an infrared sauna for like $700, but they need to be kept indoors and who has space for that. I’m willing to share with neighbours as long as there’s some enforced segregation between people who want to talk in the sauna and (normal) people who want quiet time. Arguably this is already a thing, you can get a pass at Freyburg or WRAC to use the sauna/steam room/etc and it is very cheap compared to ones that aren’t subsidised by ratepayers.
Fake sunlight
Maybe a bit esoteric, but I think it would contribute to the greater good if there was something like a cafe you could go to on winter evenings that bathes you in radiant heat and simulated sunlight and goes through a fake sunset at maybe 9pm.
Gyms
I actually love the impersonal, unpopular 24 hour gym that I pay for and it’s hard for me to imagine improving the system. I love treadmill. I love gains. I love being able to relax and sleep properly after exerting myself. Ngā mihi to everyone who pays for a gym membership and never goes for subsidising my experience. I would say that it would be great to have some smaller, ancillary gyms that don’t cost anything, e.g. every workplace that has more than x number of desk jobs should be legally required to supply fitness machines on site.
Karaoke machines
The people who live upstairs from me regularly have karaoke parties at like 7pm on a weeknight. I don’t mind because a) it’s pretty charming and b) the songs are all Chinese ballads so it’s never recognisable/distracting to me. I’m not clear on the necessity of a karaoke machine in this day and age, but I guess they do lend a sense of occasion and offer a curated experience. Sure, why not.
Commercial kitchen equipment and facilities
We need this so that I can make seitan and tempeh at scale and distribute it to the community. We need this so that seasonal gluts of fruit can be promptly dealt with and holidays and celebrations catered for. We need this because big industrial mixers perform way better than anything you have at home.
Barbecues
Fantastic news, this is already a thing. See WCC, Hutt City Council and Upper Hutt City Council
IPL machines
Fantastic news, Gender Minorities Aotearoa are already providing free IPL hair reduction for trans people at four different locations around the motu. The cost of laser has plummeted over the decades but I still think it would be cool to make it free. I own a handheld unit that’s gone on loan several times, but what I’d really like is a commercial machine that’s more effective, and someone to help me do my butt.
Carpet cleaners
Steaming mad at dirt? I’m steaming mad at the robber barons who rent out these machines at minimum $50, then another $50 for the cleaning fluid, then you really need an industrial dehumidifier to get the carpet properly dry afterwards. And good luck getting one if you don’t drive. I’ve had some success cleaning a rug with a shop vac from the tool library, but for carpet you can’t really get around needing one of the big machines. How about we have the Rug Doctor/dehumidifier combo for free in every suburb, and whoever has a vehicle can help with transport for whoever doesn’t.
Composting facilities
Mixed news, this is certainly a thing in some areas but availability has gone downhill recently. There used to be a community composting app called ShareWaste which has recently shut down, and Kaicycle no longer offer residential waste collection. Wellington City Council has funded a few community composting hubs, but they only have capacity to serve residents or institutions at a very small scale. I want to be able to compost for free and I want it to be within a 200m radius of where I live. One of my shadow selves is the sealed bin of black sludge that decayed from a year’s worth of food scraps before I gave up and started putting it in the rubbish. It’s somehow still teeming with insect life, and I don’t think they’re the good ones. This may be beyond what any kind of community program would accept, but all I need is someone to loan me a shovel and a hand trolley and I’ll take care of the rest.
Does anything else come to mind? Sound off below Purgies!
